Why I Hate The Red Sox

           There are so many good, legitimate reasons to hate the Red Sox that I’m just hoping I don’t forget any of the major ones. I'm going to preface this with why it is relevant. I will be referencing my hatred for the Red Sox quite often throughout this blog and figure I should explain why. I think this will help everyone better understand the blog. Let’s start with the pink hat fad. Look ladies if you want to like the team I got no problem with that. But learn to love the colors. Your teams are blue and red. If you don’t want to wear those don’t wear team gear to the game it’s that simple. I understand most of the people that are wearing the pink apparel aren’t actually fans, and are only at the games because they got dragged there by their rich boyfriend who barely likes the team either but got the company seats for the nights and couldn’t say no to his boss. It’s not a requirement to wear team gear to a game. Simply wear regular clothes so I don’t have to see you when the camera pans the box seats and half the women are wearing pink shit.

Now let’s knock out the main reason why I can’t stand the Red Sox. I understand you guys didn’t win the World Series for a little while. But you have to understand what you had was only the third longest ACTIVE drought at the time. Yet your fans acted like the rest of the league was taking turns sharing the World Series and were leaving your poor Red Sox out. At the time the city of Chicago hadn’t won a pennant since 1959. That’s only 45 years without even being in the World Series. For a city that has two entries every year. So if I hear “Why Not Us” one more time I’m seriously going to shit my pants right in the middle of class. I’m at wits end. Or let’s talk about all through my childhood having to listen to idiots on the TV and in the paper say this, “I just hope Grampy gets to see the Red Sox win one in his lifetime.” Guess what sweetheart, Grampy just soiled his third diaper of the day and it’s barely noon. He barely liked the Red Sox when he was a real person. So now that he’s senile do him a favor and stop pretending like he was a season ticket holder at 81 games a year. What Grampy really wants is a beer and to see Grandma naked. He’d tell you this himself, but he lost his words two years ago. And also I feel bad for the half of Red Sox fans that are real fans and have watched the team their whole lives. I know there’s some of you out there hiding in the sea of bandwagon fans who thought it was cool and popular to “suffer” during the Curse of the Bambino. If you like the team, but are too busy having a life to be a die-hard fan that’s fine. I just don’t want to hear about your suffering. You’re not.

Another real winner is “How are we supposed to compete with the Yankees they buy all their players!” Sure the Yankees have roughly an extra 40 million on their books this year. But let’s be realistic both teams have absolutely no discretion about throwing money around. The teams around every major free agent are generally the Yankees, Red Sox, Angels, and recently the Phillies. Obviously, every once in a while a random team surfaces around a certain big name player willing to risk the next four years of their franchise on that one guy. This is how a team should be built. You put together some good home grown talent, meaning at least three solid starters, a closer and five position players. Fill the bullpen with knock around guys and some younger pitchers that don’t yet have the repertoire to start, but have a couple dynamite pitches. Sign a couple of decent veteran starters to throw at the back end of the rotation. Now, once you have this assembled is when you should go to free agency for the missing piece that puts your team over the top, as well as a few other veteran players to play roles and fill out your bench. Or you can always take the Red Sox or Yankees approach, fire your scouting department to save a couple mil and throw your cash at every player with a big name that Baseball Tonight tells you is good. Ignore signs like injury history or down years and spend baby spend. Then when the guy gets hurt or proves that it wasn’t just a down year give up on him quick and say “He just couldn’t handle Boston or New York” and repeat the cycle. Newsflash guys…your city is not too tough to handle. It’s actually just like every other city that has a baseball team. The only difference is you guys think every player has to hit .380 with 50 home runs every year. People have bad weeks, months and years guys its part of baseball. And Red Sox fans please don’t tell me you are any different than Yankees fans. You are literally the same people so please learn to live with it. The Red Sox might even be getting better at this game seeing as they pwned the Yankees and signed Adrian Gonzalez and Carl Crawford.